First of all, I would like to say,"FOOD POISONING SUCKS!". I had to skip school because of food poisoning, making me lose in on a fishbowl argument! Since I did homework over the weekend and had nothing to do today, I took my time off of school and only focused on me.
Looking back on my life, my biggest transformations came after feeling lost, frustrated, and challenged.
My life went from being happy to miserable. The day I was diagnosed with cancer was the day I felt invisible. That health crisis led me to feel insecure, most of all, dead on the inside. Hair falling apart, my immune system shutting down, just a lot of things that makes one person feel complete, made me feel dead. For a healthy person to go out in public and breath the fresh air, look at the nice sceneries, and just enjoy life. Meanwhile, I was in and out of my room taking tests, and just going through hell. Maybe that was when I knew I wasn't able to fulfill a normal life. Thankfully, after months of getting chemotherapy, I was able to hear good news,"Your daughter is improving and she is able to be discharged in two months." Boy, was I happy.
Finally, my fear of Leukemia will be long gone. I can finally become a normal person, right? Not quite yet. I still have to wait for my hair to fully grow out, meanwhile, I was wearing a wig. What pity people gave me. Thinking that all I need was courage to keep fighting, but I was done. No need for pity, I believe I'm strong enough to keep fighting this. I can already hear people asking me if I was sure about not needing pity in my ears, truth is, no. I used to be sure since I knew I was cured and I knew it would not relapse, but two years ago I had this strange feeling. That strange feeling wasn't no nose bleed or me fainting because I'm losing blood, but my vision had become blurry. I told my parents of how I would have days where my vision became blurry. With that said, my parents arranged for me an appointment at CHOC Hospital. With just one appointment, my life has turned back to the same miserable person that I was when I had Leukemia.
Having to deal with Leukemia and a brain tumor, I think my life has finally came together. I now don't just live for my health, but my happiness. Who knows, when my tumor relapses, will I be here another day? How about another minute or second? I will only find positive things to come out of my next life. Cancer, can just come back and I won't have to worry because the things that I have done in the time for my next relapse, I know I lived it with peace and joy.
Some people with cancer say it sucks and I agree, but a part of me thinks that experiencing with cancer is the same as experiencing with life. We all have our ups and downs, but we should not be too concerned on the mistakes or failures in our life. We all have things that makes life worth living, whether it may be money, clothes, family, or even motivation to KEEP living. There are people who can't see, but they still live because they can hear all the beautiful sounds that nature has to offer. We should all rejoice in all that we've been through and be thankful that we are still here today!
Are you willing to start over after something bad happened to you?
Am I willing to start over? To put in another way, I am willing to keep breathing. There's no restart button, so the past always haunts us and we can never truly start again. But the past gives us context and depth. Harsh conditions, painful memories, they give us knowledge on future decisions, and they make life interesting. I mean, struggle is good; only when we fall down and stay down does struggle become problematic. Bad experiences hurt, but I feel there is always a reason to keep breathing and hold out for something better, especially when the day hasn't come where we find out the meaning of our lives. Great post, btw! (;
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